Personal Development | The Journey of Story

Allowing things to be easy can be hard

August23

There’ve been a number of major things in my life recently which have all been leading me back to a focus on consciously including the divine in my life. This isn’t a new idea from, since around the end of my senior year of high school I’ve explored spirituality and connection in lots of different ways. Today I consider myself a “mystical freelancer.”

I guess the resurgence really started when I wanted to try the Resident Pricing Exercise which Mark Silver teaches at the Heart Of Business. Mark talks about starting this exercise by performing something called The Remembrance. This is a wonderful practice, which comes out of the Sufi tradition. I had never done anything like it, and found it to be remarkably profound. It’s all about “remembering” our connection to the divine, and really feeling that inside. This quickly led to me starting and later finishing Mark’s 14 day challenge.

At the same time I’ve also been taking the Grace Blessings Mastery class which my dear friend Erika Rock teaches. If I was going to summarize this class in five words, they would be:

Letting Go and Letting God

It’s all about discovering how magical and how easy things can be when we let go and let the divine work through us.

Problem is, I was having a lot of trouble letting go. I really felt for the last several days like I was in the hard. I felt frustrated, as if whatever I did wasn’t enough. I felt adrift.

“But wait, there’s more!”

And on top of all of this, I had a session tonight with spiritual alchemist Melody Kiersz. We explored what I’ve been experiencing, and she helped me to really feel it, which created the opportunity to shift. Things started to become very clear as I realize that I was not very open to receiving from the divine.

I recognized this as programming, something which was entrained into me, not something I really believed.

Then, all of a sudden, I felt very strongly that receiving from the divine is, in fact, a form of recognition, of worship.

I realized that to receive gracefully, open, fully is a gift to the giver, and the divine really wants to give to us, to me.

And that realization changed everything.

I have to say, that I post this with some trepidation about how you, my readers will respond. But I’m really feeling called to do it, and so I will answer the call and push the button.

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Changing direction, a new website, living in my own skin

August8

I had a giant epiphany this week. It was one of those I–can’t–believe–that–I–didn’t–realize–this–sooner moments. It was one of those moments where in an instant, everything I thought I knew about something got turned upside down.

You may or may not know about Binaural Journeys, where I create meditation audios that use a cool combination of sound technologies and my voice to help people relax very deeply, and make changes that they want to make in themselves.

The Setup

I really created Binaural Journeys out of the inspiration for a particular meditation. Then I went looking to figure out how to let my Thing out into the world. What I found was a very traditional style of Internet marketing, taught by a wonderful person who was really helpful. So I got my Things online, and started sharing it with the world. Some people bought it, and those that did have almost universally loved it, but something wasn’t right and it took me a long time to learn what. That was the epiphany.

I finally realized that I wasn’t presenting my Thing in a way that would appeal to my Right People. I realize, that my Right People were the kind of people who are like me in a lot of ways, and that one of those ways is that they have a tendency to not like things that feel like traditional Internet marketing–“squeeze pages,” sales pages written like direct mail sales letters, and so forth.

More importantly, I realized that I really don’t like those things.

I realized, that the way I was presenting this online was not congruent with Me. And I also realized that was a big problem. I realized that that was part of why some people I know didn’t react to my offerings away that I had hoped it would.

Most importantly, I realized that this was the thing that didn’t feel right to me.

So I’m starting over, doing things in a whole new way. It’s a little bit scary, because it’s different, but I’m different to; and I’m convinced that this is what I need to do.

So there are changes coming.

I also realized that in addition to changing how I present Binaural Journeys, there was something else I needed to do. That is, to be more myself here. In addition to the artist me, the storyteller me, the technician me, and the other parts of my life that you’ve met, here I also have a side of me which I’ve been reluctant to share: the Mystic, the one to whom spirituality and connection are so important. So I realized that that’s part of what I need to share as well, and that I need to accept that that’s something some people may not be comfortable with, but it’s part of who I am, and so if this site is going to continue to have my name in the url, I need to make that a part of what I share as well.

Has this ever happened to you?

If you’ve had an experience like this I’d love to hear about it in the comments! As you comment, please keep in mind however that this is my realization and my process, and I’m not looking for advice about it. Though I would love to hear just about anything esle you have to say