You know it’s funny, how sometimes our lives seem to go in circles.

Except sometimes, the circles are really spirals, they bring us to a higher level of whatever it is.

This is something that came out very powerfully for me tonight as I thought about an idea that I’d been fantasizing about for many years, except this time I wasn’t just thinking about it as a dream, but rather as a goal. A gigantic, hairy, audacious goal, but a goal nonetheless. About a week ago in the first session of the Cash and Joy Provocateurs, Catherine Caine asked me to do just that. She asked each of us in the group to share our Big Harry Audacious Goal. It wasn’t something I had thought much about, but after just a moment I realized that there is one thing that kept coming up in different ways almost for as long as I can remember, and I knew that this was my BHAG.

I want to share it with you, but I also need to understand that while this goal is tremendous at the moment it’s very much what Havi calls “a tiny, sweet thing.” So it needs to be handled with care, and that’s what I’m doing here.

So what is this thing?

It’s an event, actually a series of events, each one with over 10,000 people in attendance. A sort of rally of transformation, alchemy, wonder, spirit and outright magic.

I can feel how my whole life is leading to this point, for me to be standing on the stage telling stories, weaving processes of spiritual alchemy, as we gently but powerfully allow the shifts within each of us to take the next steps becoming even more ourselves.

This isn’t just a speech, or a workshop. It’s a fully immersive experience. We use lighting, projections, sound and other tools of the theater to create an environment which envelops everyone who attends, and completely surrounds them. This environment can change and morph from one moment to the next as the stories and dreams unfold.

I could go on and on, I think I have shared what wants to be shared at the moment about this.

Let me answer some questions that you might be thinking before I go:

When will this happen?

I don’t know, it will happen when it’s ready, and I’m ready.

Where will it be? How much will it cost? Where do I sign up?

I’m thrilled that you’re interested, but I don’t really know that either.

Don’t you realize that this will never work? That events like this are too expensive, too hard, crazy, or whatever?

I truly appreciate your concern, and I’m not trying to do this next week. I know that there’s a lot to it, and that there are probably lots of places where things can go wrong (there are in every endeavor, large or small.) But please understand that the biggest mistake I could make is to not do this, it is the calling of my heart.

Can I help?

Maybe? Probably? I’m not in a place yet to look for partners, or people to help, or even know what kind of help I would be looking for. However, that will change, when the time comes, so watch this space. If you like, leave a note in the comments about your interest, and I’ll keep you in mind.

Today I want to be very specific about what kind of comments I’m looking for. As I said, this is a tiny, sweet thing, which needs to be protected and cared for as it grows and solidifies. I would love your support, and if reading this sparks something super exciting in you, I’d love to hear about that too. If you think I’m nuts, you’re probably right, but please, keep it to yourself for the moment. I’m not looking for advice, criticism, or even really suggestions, I most love to hear how this resonates with you, in your heart, if there’s something you truly feel moved to share.

Thank you for letting me share my Big Hairy Audacious Goal with you. Don’t be surprised if I don’t talk about this much for a while, then again don’t be surprised if I do. I’m just excited to see how my tiny, sweet thing grows.

Letting Go and Letting God

“But wait, there’s more!”

Then, all of a sudden, I felt very strongly that receiving from the divine is, in fact, a form of recognition, of worship.

And that realization changed everything.

In my last post, I talked about my realization that I’d not been approaching my business in a way that’s congruent with who I am – and that was a big problem.

photo credit: Denis Collette…!!!

I’m working (behind the scenes so far) on re-imagining how I talk about and share what I do and make. In the mean time, an opportunity has come up, and I want to share my excitement about it with you.

Maybe it’ll be useful for some of you as well, or maybe you’ll just help me be excited either way is fine.

I’ve known about Mark Silver and The Heart of Business for a while now, and I’d enjoyed some of his stuff, but it didn’t click with me.  I wasn’t ready.

Mark is a Sufi, a practitioner of mystical Islam.  He approaches business as a mystic.  To me, this is very cool.

So, not that long ago, I was struggling how to find a right price to charge for something,  I remembered Havi having written about using a wacky resonant pricing exercise that she adapted from Mark’s work.  So I decided to try it.  I downloaded the exercise from Mark’s post and tried it – it just felt right.  In fact it felt wonderful.  It also introduced me to

The Remembrance

A simple, Sufi practice which is the basis of much of what Mark teaches.  I’m not going to explain the practice here, if you are drawn to know more about it check out Mark’s Getting To The Core workbook, which you get free when you sign up for his newsletter (which I love.)

This practice has been the perfect gift for me at the perfect time, Mark calls it “having tea time with the Divine,” which as strange as it sounds, is really right on.

In fact I’m doing Mark’s Remembrance Challenge right now and loving it – it’s just perfect for me, where I am right now.  Though I’m certainly doing it imperfectly.  (It’s also free on his site if you’re interested)

The Sacred Invitation

I ran across this page on The Heart of Business and signed up for the “No More Square Wheels” teleclass Mark was offering as a free preview class for his 6 week Momentum program.  I was “sure” that I wasn’t going to take the class.  Money is tight right now, it just didn’t seem like an option.  But I wanted to learn what I could from the preview call, which I expected to be mostly content, and a little pitch at the end.

I didn’t know it at the time, but that page was a sacred invitation to me to take the next step into myself and my business.

You see, the call was yesterday – and it just blew me out of the water.  I sat and listened, and felt as Mark would pause, and just breathe as I let what he said sink in, and he felt into what he was called to say next.  (at least that’s how it felt to me…)

He wasn’t talking about a class

He was talking about an entirely new (to me) approach to what business is, what it means, and how to do it.

It felt so right to me.  Exactly what I needed to create the business and life that I feel called to.

And let me be clear I was not “sold” anything – the “pitch” Mark gave was simply an explanation of what the course covers and how it works.  That was really it.

I knew, though, long before that point, that this was what my heart was calling for.

But like I said, I knew I couldn’t afford the class now.  Then I told my Dad about it, and he very graciously agreed to pay for it as a gift.

I am so thankful that I’m now enrolled in this class, and I’m bouncing off the walls excited about it.

And by the way, you can listen to the recording of the “No More Square Wheels” call by clicking here.

So why am I writing this post?  Because my heart is singing with excitement about this and I needed to share it.

Have you ever had something resonate with you like this?  Are you thinking about taking this class?  I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

I had a giant epiphany this week. It was one of those I–can’t–believe–that–I–didn’t–realize–this–sooner moments. It was one of those moments where in an instant, everything I thought I knew about something got turned upside down.

You may or may not know about Binaural Journeys, where I create meditation audios that use a cool combination of sound technologies and my voice to help people relax very deeply, and make changes that they want to make in themselves.

The Setup

I really created Binaural Journeys out of the inspiration for a particular meditation. Then I went looking to figure out how to let my Thing out into the world. What I found was a very traditional style of Internet marketing, taught by a wonderful person who was really helpful. So I got my Things online, and started sharing it with the world. Some people bought it, and those that did have almost universally loved it, but something wasn’t right and it took me a long time to learn what. That was the epiphany.

I finally realized that I wasn’t presenting my Thing in a way that would appeal to my Right People. I realize, that my Right People were the kind of people who are like me in a lot of ways, and that one of those ways is that they have a tendency to not like things that feel like traditional Internet marketing–“squeeze pages,” sales pages written like direct mail sales letters, and so forth.

More importantly, I realized that I really don’t like those things.

I realized, that the way I was presenting this online was not congruent with Me. And I also realized that was a big problem. I realized that that was part of why some people I know didn’t react to my offerings away that I had hoped it would.

Most importantly, I realized that this was the thing that didn’t feel right to me.

So I’m starting over, doing things in a whole new way. It’s a little bit scary, because it’s different, but I’m different to; and I’m convinced that this is what I need to do.

So there are changes coming.

I also realized that in addition to changing how I present Binaural Journeys, there was something else I needed to do. That is, to be more myself here. In addition to the artist me, the storyteller me, the technician me, and the other parts of my life that you’ve met, here I also have a side of me which I’ve been reluctant to share: the Mystic, the one to whom spirituality and connection are so important. So I realized that that’s part of what I need to share as well, and that I need to accept that that’s something some people may not be comfortable with, but it’s part of who I am, and so if this site is going to continue to have my name in the url, I need to make that a part of what I share as well.

Has this ever happened to you?

If you’ve had an experience like this I’d love to hear about it in the comments!  As you comment, please keep in mind however that this is my realization and my process, and I’m not looking for advice about it.  Though I would love to hear just about anything esle you have to say

Fair warning:

This post is going to be a little bit weird–maybe a lot weird–depending on your perspective. I promise, that this really is useful to me, which is why I’m sharing it. Of course, it may, or may not be useful to you. Please take whatever you find useful and leave the rest.

Monsters???

Here’s the idea:

The most important thing about monsters

Here’s the key

Approaching my monsters

Thanking Your Monsters

I’ve decided to take on a new challenge in 2010. I am challenging myself to be creative in some way, each and every day.

I’m doing this in a way that is slightly formalized.  Recently, I found the blog of Leah Piken Kolidas  – Create Every Day. I found her through http://www.sankofasong.com/blog/ which is also cool.

For the past few years Leah has presented this challenge. It’s a very informal thing, if you want to participate, you sign-up on the Creative Every Day Challenge page on her blog, or not. She provides suggested monthly themes on which you can create, or not. She provides a variety of ways to participate with other folks who are taking the challenge, or not. I think the best thing is, that she makes it very clear that it’s up to each person to decide how they want to participate, to what extent, and how publicly.

Some people may choose to blog every day about their creativity, I am choosing not to. I will post about it from time to time, but certainly not everyday. I actually think that unless writing a blog is a primary creative outlet for you, that posting every day about this challenge doesn’t make a lot of sense. The idea of the challenge, the way Leah describes it, is to do something creative. That may be working on a painting, or piece of music, but it’s just as legitimately cooking dinner, finding a cool way to play with your cat, or anything else that involves creativity. As I think about it, I think I probably am creative every day in one way or another. I do lots of creative stuff.

My goal in participating in this challenge, is to notice my creativity more, to be more mindful, and grateful of what I create. See, I think for many of us, we’re already creative every day in many ways. One of the best ways I know to amplify creative output is to notice the creativity that I’m already engaged in. Once I’m in that headspace of creating, often ideas just flow about lots of things, some related to what I’m doing, others not. So I am choosing in 2010 to honor my creativity by paying more attention to it.

I just saw a video on Phil Bolsta’s blog called An Interview with God. Have a look at it:

I think that this video is beautifully made, and makes some interesting points. I really like a lot of the advice it offers, yet it really rubs me the wrong way. It suggests by assumption of the typical Western idea of God as “more or less like us, but bigger, better, and much more powerful.” This doesn’t sit well with me, it just doesn’t make any sense. Assuming that there is a divine creative force in the universe, why would it look like us, or rather, why would it only look like us.

To me it makes much more sense to see the divine in everything, to find God in teachers, friends, family, my cats (who certainly think their deities). I don’t know what the Truth about the nature of the universe, or the nature of God is. But what I do know is that in my life the more I act like God is everywhere in everything, and not separate at all, the better things work out for me. So, I don’t think it matters whether that’s Truth, or even if there is a single Truth (which I doubt,) this works for me. I’m not trying to tell you what to believe, I truly have no stake in not at all. However, I find this a fascinating and useful issue to think about and discuss, so I wanted to take the opportunity to open the conversation with any of you who would like to join. I look forward to hearing from you.