The Journey of Story

Storytelling, Technology and Life

Changing direction, a new website, living in my own skin

August8

I had a giant epiphany this week. It was one of those I–can’t–believe–that–I–didn’t–realize–this–sooner moments. It was one of those moments where in an instant, everything I thought I knew about something got turned upside down.

A Roadway Direction Arrow, curving to the right

You may or may not know about Binaural Journeys, where I create meditation audios that use a cool combination of sound technologies and my voice to help people relax very deeply, and make changes that they want to make in themselves.

The Setup

I really created Binaural Journeys out of the inspiration for a particular meditation. Then I went looking to figure out how to let my Thing out into the world. What I found was a very traditional style of Internet marketing, taught by a wonderful person who was really helpful. So I got my Things online, and started sharing it with the world. Some people bought it, and those that did have almost universally loved it, but something wasn’t right and it took me a long time to learn what. That was the epiphany.

I finally realized that I wasn’t presenting my Thing in a way that would appeal to my Right People. I realize, that my Right People were the kind of people who are like me in a lot of ways, and that one of those ways is that they have a tendency to not like things that feel like traditional Internet marketing–“squeeze pages,” sales pages written like direct mail sales letters, and so forth.

More importantly, I realized that I really don’t like those things.

I realized, that the way I was presenting this online was not congruent with Me. And I also realized that was a big problem. I realized that that was part of why some people I know didn’t react to my offerings away that I had hoped it would.

Most importantly, I realized that this was the thing that didn’t feel right to me.

So I’m starting over, doing things in a whole new way. It’s a little bit scary, because it’s different, but I’m different to; and I’m convinced that this is what I need to do.

So there are changes coming.

I also realized that in addition to changing how I present Binaural Journeys, there was something else I needed to do. That is, to be more myself here. In addition to the artist me, the storyteller me, the technician me, and the other parts of my life that you’ve met, here I also have a side of me which I’ve been reluctant to share: the Mystic, the one to whom spirituality and connection are so important. So I realized that that’s part of what I need to share as well, and that I need to accept that that’s something some people may not be comfortable with, but it’s part of who I am, and so if this site is going to continue to have my name in the url, I need to make that a part of what I share as well.

Has this ever happened to you?

If you’ve had an experience like this I’d love to hear about it in the comments!  As you comment, please keep in mind however that this is my realization and my process, and I’m not looking for advice about it.  Though I would love to hear just about anything esle you have to say ;)

Share and Enjoy:
  • email
  • Print
  • PDF
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Digg
  • Google Bookmarks
  • del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Sphinn
  • Mixx
  • Blogplay
  • FriendFeed
  • LinkedIn
  • Posterous
  • Slashdot
  • Tumblr
  • Yahoo! Bookmarks
Print This Post Print This Post

Talking to Monsters

July28

Fair warning:

This post is going to be a little bit weird–maybe a lot weird–depending on your perspective. I promise, that this really is useful to me, which is why I’m sharing it. Of course, it may, or may not be useful to you. Please take whatever you find useful and leave the rest.The foot of a Monster

One of the things that the amazing, wacky, and wonderful Havi Brooks has been talking about a lot lately on her blog, The Fluent Self is the idea of talking to monsters.

Monsters???

Don’t they just live under the bed? And didn’t we learn that they were real a long, long time ago?
Well, in my world the answers are no, and no.

Here’s the idea:

we all have stuff, particularly, the stuff that comes up when we think about doing things that feel really important, or things that we really really want to do. For instance, I wanted to write this blog post, and I hear this voice in my head which says “you can’t do that, it has nothing to do with any of the things your blog is about, everyone who reads your blog will hate it, if you write it you’ll never be able to have a presence on the Internet again.”
See, to me, that’s a monster talking, in fact, it’s one of my monsters.

The most important thing about monsters

Yes I know, a lot of people would just call this negative self talk, or any number of other things. I don’t know how to negotiate or talk to “negative self talk.” For me though, by calling it, and thinking of it as a monster, I can talk to it and figure out why it’s there, and what it wants.

Here’s the key

Every monster is there for a reason, and that reason is always, every time, without exception, positive. Every monster we have is there for a reason, to help us or protect us in some important way.
Now I know that may sound strange, that our monsters are there to help. It is however, true. You see, monsters are created by our past experiences, when I was a kid I had experiences of being teased and judged negatively. Out of that experience, was born a monster (probably more than one) who are looking out for situations that might cause people to tease or judge or otherwise think negatively of me. They are there to protect me from that bad experience.
But I’m different now, and the world is different now. I’m an adult, not a seven-year-old miserable on the playground. The thing is, often the monsters don’t realize the difference that makes.

Approaching my monsters

Now we get to the reason I really wanted to write this post. I’ve been talking to a lot of people about this lately on blogs, and various other places online. And I feel like there’s something missing from most of these discussions about talking to monsters that I found very useful in myself.

Thanking Your Monsters

When I go to talk to one of my monsters, I make a point to thank them, for what they’re doing for me. I say something like “thank you for being willing to talk to me, I know you’re here for really important reason. I know there’s something critical that you’re doing for me. Would you tell me what that is?”
My experience is, that this approach dramatically softens the situation, as you might imagine that it would in an interaction between two people. I’m recognizing that the monster is there for some important reason. Once I know what that reason is, I can learn about the monster’s worldview, and why he or she acts the way he or she does.
The more I understand that, the easier it is to get this monster to understand my view, and my perspective as an adult. I find, that this often dissolve resistance to change, almost like magic.
If you’d like to read more about this I’d recommend Havi’s Posts:
An example of one of her monster dialogues: Talking To The Book Monster
Also
Monster Watching: Some Notes
and
The Negotiator, the Monster, and the Scribe
Have you ever tried talking to monsters? Would you? I’d love to hear about it in the comments. However, please, don’t tell me I’m crazy (I already know that.) Also, please don’t tell me that I need therapy or that this doesn’t work (because for me it’s extremely powerful.) If you want to share an experience, whether it worked for you or not, please do–just don’t tell me that what I do doesn’t work for me. Thanks for being sensitive about this, my monsters appreciate it.
Share and Enjoy:
  • email
  • Print
  • PDF
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Digg
  • Google Bookmarks
  • del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Sphinn
  • Mixx
  • Blogplay
  • FriendFeed
  • LinkedIn
  • Posterous
  • Slashdot
  • Tumblr
  • Yahoo! Bookmarks
Print This Post Print This Post